Airplane Hysteria

Airplane Hysteria

Amongst the sleeping drool faced adults
I'm one just like the rest, splayed out
Across all three seats
I wanna bop all their balding heads
Like that silly gofer game,
Then hide under this weak wooly blanket

Everyone behaves on planes
Like punished children,
"Sit there and don't move"
"Here's some water, stay put"
"Read this and shut up"

I feel uncomfortable being so close
To such un-talkative strangers
I'd be tarred and feathered
For poking my eager head between the seats
Looking for a friend to play with,
So I don't, I sit quiet,
Like the sheep that I am

I want to scream aloud, so proudly
"Is anyone awake? Is this your normal
Pathetic selves"?
But I don't, I pretend to sleep

I watch the booze roll by
Pushed by ex-porn stars
Trying to make ends meet
Caked with make-up and burnt blonde hair
If I was younger I would steal a bottle
Out the back
to pound real quick,
And pinch her ass when I'm done,
But I don't,
I politely
Ask for tea and say thanks

I think about masturbating
In the bathroom for my one act
Of rebellion.
But who would I tell
And who would believe me?

The shade lifts quick,
The light is unbearable
"I'm blind" I scream at the top of my lungs.
No, I don't.
But that would have been funny.
The ocean is so huge, and blue
It scares me to
Fathom her magnitude,
So, the flimsy shade comes down

I never buckled when
They told me
And I carried on three bags,
The ticket lady never noticed
I am a rebel!
Cross word puzzles suck
And i feel bad for people who do 'em

Sudoku is for pussies
The news is full of lies,
And your kids are the product
Of a thousands year
Septic leak,
Where the fuck are we?
I hate humanity,
But I love these people

They'll be my best friends
When the plane goes down,
We've all become so close
Watching such shitty movies
And drinking the worst tea
in the world


1/31/13